When Puppies Become Wolves: A Story of Love, Loss, and Learning to Let Go
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When Puppies Become Wolves: A Story of Love, Loss, and Learning to Let Go
Marc Tagliaferri
June 23, 2024
breathing, and in this body. This isn't the final destination by any means; we're just in a stage. Most of us are in complete denial of that because we can't find a way to put it all together or make everybody right. God forbid somebody be wrong, right? Everybody's got to be right. Well, I'm wrong all the time. I'm right a lot, but I'm wrong a lot too. There are lessons that come from that, but anyway... The other day I was watching "Of Mice and Men." It's an amazing movie, and I purposely watched it because I wanted to see something. It's my favorite book and really the first book I ever read.
In my last blog, I talked about the Big Brother Association, but I also had another Big Brother named Tom. He was a teacher. After Steve left, he got married, and his wife didn't want me around. I was a casualty of their future. She had to let me go to the wedding and be a part of it all, but afterward, I would never see him again. You know, it's all good. It is what it is. Like I said in the last blog, I have nothing but love for the man. He's got to make decisions, and I've had to make decisions. I understand. It's kind of unique.
So anyway, this guy Tom became my second brother, I guess you would say. He was a teacher and a good guy. I think he had a good heart and good intentions. But the one amazing thing he did, like the Celtics with Steve, was read "Of Mice and Men" with me. I think I had to do a book report or something in school. I don't know, but it was cool that it happened. Over time, our relationship never really bonded. He seemed to form more of a relationship with my mother than with me, and that became more of a Marc against all of them.
Which is kind of funny because it never really stopped throughout my whole life. So, I think this year, 2024, is my cleansing year. Trust me, this isn't how I wanted to start out, but it's here. Like I said, I guess 2024 is a cleansing year. And again, like I said, I didn't ask for it, but sometimes our plans aren't what we want; they're what Father wants. We just have to be able to see the signs, right? So, it's here. I mean, I'm zero for eight. I failed on going four for four. If you've read my blogs, you'll understand that better than you do now.
I went zero for eight. I did the best I could. I made many sacrifices, and they all went to waste, to be honest with you. It's kind of crazy. It reminds me a lot of "Of Mice and Men." No matter how hard George tried for Lenny, no matter what he did, Lenny wouldn't respond or take that next step. It's amazing to me how my life and journey have mirrored the movie and the book. Like George, I've had eight “puppies” or eight “Lennys”, and I've done everything I could to do right by them. There comes a point in time where you realize that the world's perception doesn't matter because behind the scenes, there's more than anyone could ever imagine.
You know, people can tell stories, exaggerate, or lie to make circumstances better for themselves and get help. Go ahead if that's what you're going to do. If any of you have decided to run and hide behind religion to denounce me and my beliefs, I suggest you have fun because you will not attack me through the Father, for he knows me. Just because I talk to all the elements of life through Jesus to our God doesn't mean he doesn't know me. My question to those who question me is, why don't you know your ancestors and praise them to lead them through to God? But hey, that's just me, right? But I'll tell you something…
Since I've been doing this, my life has been a lot better. It's been hard and cleansing, but it's a lot better. I'm often sad, angry, and frustrated, but my soul feels better. I feel growth and a sort of weird contentment, almost like the look George has when he's sitting on the train after what happens with Lenny. What was he supposed to do? He had to do it at that moment. It was crazy because there's a moment, if you watch the movie (which I actually watched yesterday to make sure I had my head right on it), that really blows my mind. It's when George is engulfed in everything: his future, what he's trying to get done, what he wants to do, how much he loves Lenny, and how much he wants to help him.
They often find themselves by this river where I frequently find myself. They take cover under the trees, surrounded by incessant chatter. You can hear someone saying, "I'm coming for Lenny." And honestly, Lenny kind of deserves it—he's made plenty of mistakes. Yet, in that moment, George is still trying to rationalize everything until Lenny says something that strikes George profoundly, like a box of rocks, leaving him unable to recover. At that moment, George realizes he has to kill Lenny. For me, it wasn't about death, but rather about displacement. When I heard the terms "master manipulator" and "I will do whatever I want," it resonated deeply.
You know, it made me realize a lot. Then another voice spoke and said, "I'm only here to help you." I replied, "I don't need your help.” I was helping them. The truth is, I was being used and abused. I was being punished by the same things that I love, just like George. And sadly, just like George, I couldn't see it. I was so focused on wanting to achieve success and nurture my "puppies," let's say, to become the greatest they could be. I would do anything for them, and I did, just like George. And just like George, I got these puppies to a great place, despite all the odds, the criticism, and the metaphorical acid rain that fell from everywhere, at any time, no matter what I did.
I even embedded myself into a program to try to help them and sold my soul to everyone else's puppies to make their puppies better, so that my puppies could be doing better in the end, I would just be the crazy man again. The audacity of this is that's exactly the state of our world. Our world is just a mess. I mean, we only record 6,000 years of history, which means 97% of our history is gone. If you go by the old texts from 240,000 years ago, our Anunnaki showed up. And the Sumerians say that they made humans to mine gold.
So everybody runs around wearing gold, but gold would be wheat. It would be mining food, right? Wouldn't that make more sense? Have you ever looked at a wheat field? It's golden. And not to be rude, but man, that makes some good food, right? I mean, this whole thing is crazy. So I guess what I'm trying to say is that all you can do as a soul is do the best you can. All you can do is try. You can't predict the future. You can't predict what things are going to do. You can't predict how they're going to react. And the key to all this is even crazier. You cannot predict what will come into their lives and affect you. I'm learning the key is to stay steady in that. Because if you don't, I promise you, if you don't stay steady in it, the chaos will consume you.
And then, when the chaos consumes you, is when you become vulnerable. And then, when you become vulnerable, is when, as I like to say, the demons will surround you, and the chatter will start. Just like down at that lake, I've had a lot of chatter lately, all around me. But whether they like it or not, they can see me growing, and I will continue to grow. And I will continue to speak, and I will continue to try to point in the right direction. One of the things I gotta say, Puppy didn't talk too much, but one day it looked at me and said, "Find God." Hey, Puppy, good luck. Maybe you should find something and include Him. For I will be waiting, I will be in my home taking care of things and growing.
And to all my puppies out there wandering around, I love you all. But I will not be your reason. I will not be your excuse. I will not be your justification for your actions, your doings, your false illusions. I got all you puppies there. I made sure every single one of you "puppies," in some way, were safe. Yeah, y'all messed it up and made it my problem. Well, hey, that's cool. I can't even imagine how God must feel when he looks down at this mess that runs around down here. I guess I needed to learn something. I go around telling people that this little blue man came to me, and that Zion mountain is formed around the Aton area, and that I'm doing all this stuff for God and that I'm trying to grow and show everybody a different way. Well, if that's the case, then maybe I shouldn't have expected anything less. Because if that would be the case, that means that my brother Jesus went to the mountain and kicked ass and did so much. I went to the mountain, I stumbled down that thing. I rolled to the bottom, bumped, bruised, broke, cursed, hurt. But when I hit that ground, I got up. I got up. What are you going to do? You know, I'm gonna get up. You should get up and stand on the ashes.
"Stay blessed, stay true to yourself, and always remember, you’re never alone on this incredible journey. Wishing you an abundance of peace, love, and an overflow of good vibes until our paths cross again. Thanks for being a part of this adventure with me. Until next time, Deuces!"