It is all about how you look at things...

I guess. Maybe that’s what we’re missing? When you talk to me about your struggles, your fight with demons, or clowns as you like to say. Bro, God has given you something special. You should accept all that’s happening. Remember, though, God has you under a microscope, he is watching you. He has given you back so much you have lost. Stay strong when anyone has a gift of writing, or painting like my brother, it’s a gift from God. If they don’t accept their gift, then that’s on them. They don’t feel what you feel because you’re searching and wanting.” My guy spoke to me as I stood there trying to reign in my emotions.

The conversation was a lot longer than that. It lasted long enough to where we are felt comfort in our souls. This guy, his temple, took the time to speak to us, just walked over and began to speak with his tongue. His words were very strong and smooth when he spoke to us. What a gift with all his care and the amazing message. He needs not to sell his soul or temple short. For he was the carrier of the message. In my mind, what a gift to have this moment happen to us.

This took place just after I had spoken with a man I respect and sought for approval like you would from a father. It means a lot to us when we get it from him. His approval makes us feel as though we have grown, and someone is proud of us. Sorry I never had my father to get approval from, so I really don’t know how even I miss him, but I do. Stupid, weak or just dumb, either way you want to look at it. I will leave my mother to die alone as she left me, but I still have love for a man who walked away from me at birth, yeah stupid. Anyways, sorry, somehow that man means a lot to me. 

The truth is that growth is a funny thing. This all started as I began to speak with this man I respect, I wanted to tell him how many people have been reading my blogs. Also, that I did write another book that doesn’t suck like the first one I wrote. Which I will say the first one was a suicide note to start with. So glad I didn’t cave in to that weakness in my soul. I digress, again, we are everywhere in our thoughts, tonight. So the real gift I received that day was not trying to impress this man I respect. All he did when I sought his approval was smiled back at me and said, “Who would have thought, Tags spreading his thoughts to the world. They are really going to think Americans are crazy.” I didn’t know what to think, still don’t.

I was just trying not to fall through the floor, I just gathered my shattered confidence, smiled and turned. I just wanted his approval, not to hear I am crazy. My mind didn’t even have enough time to shut down that emotion before the guy, we spoke of earlier showed up that powerful message to lift our soul and spirit. They encouraged us and spoke of pushing through. That was a gift that I really needed at that moment. 

I engaged the first conversation to build up self-esteem and to show a man, I have worth. I wanted him to see I am more than what ever he thinks of me. Inside my head this conversation should have gone better, but instead I lead myself to disappointment, mixed emotions and truthfully some frustration. His words could have been taken wrong on my part, I get that. We sorted those feelings fast but not as fast as that guy that walked over to our soul, killed those negative thoughts and filled our soul with inspiration. The real gift.

I get inconsistent with my blogs, it is not good at all. I have to learn to blog as we grow, not wait for weeks. I say this for many reasons. The main reason is for all of you. I’ve found, in my growth, that all of you are the ones that are helping my soul as much as the guy. If not more than anyone. Yes, of course, my family too, but they have to live with me in my house. They are trapped to weather the storm. Just saying. HAHA.

With that, I want to say, I see all of you in the United States, China, Canada, Philippines, Israel, United Kingdom, India, Australia, and Ireland. What a blessing to me that all of you have taken the time to read our thoughts. This allows us to grow, to blog to express ourselves and to explain what we have found in our travels. I find that to be really crazy, as they say I am all the time. However, Einstein once said that your dreams are God’s way of showing you what you can have. It is life that sets the fear in one’s self through other’s doubts instead of faith in one’s self. As all of you have given me faith with the click of a button and your time. Which I find amazing and nothing short of amazing. Thank you!! To the ones that come back to read or pass through here or there. I promise not to waste your time with me fighting, with wasted thoughts. There is so much more I think we can share with all of you by expressing our truth with faith in one’s self. Rather than thoughts due to pain and anger masked with joy. We have plenty of joy. I can’t even imagine what so many are going through across our world at any level. I truly have nothing to cry about. 

The whole dunce cap thing isn’t a bad thing, it’s a great thing. By putting us in that corner for so long, we learned and watched. We have worn many caps to learn. We’ve traveled many places and survived them and even found growth. The truth is it does feel good, I’m very appreciative to have life and breath to speak our thoughts. With that, I can’t help think of all the souls that are not as fortunate as myself. It’s your soul that matters and how you treat others, or at least try to treat them well. You know, like give a swing for a turn on the playground and share with others, right? 

On that note, some stages are meant to have millions, others are meant for small groups at a time. Some appear to be empty like one I know in Angola, Indiana, tucked away in a park, near where we love to take walks and feel the souls of the past and present early in the morning. I’ve said it before I loved Knots Berry Farm as a kid, now we’re just bigger, and we find ourselves in a place that feels like Knots. It takes us back to where it all began. However, someday I hope to find my way to Egypt, to where all began long, long ago.