Hey Mom, It’s Marc, Your One and Only Son
Hey my fellow souls! My new book is live - Many Lives, One Soul: My Journey to Becoming Whole
Hey Mom, It’s Marc, Your One and Only Son
Marc Tagliaferri
February 22, 2023
It was a Monday as the day was making its way to lunch. I received a text. Before the text, my plan was to eat the meal from the night before. It was asparagus with some steak tips, and potatoes with gravy, was a good lunch to chill and eat. I was preparing myself for a Zoom meeting. My energy was pouring out of my soul. Really, it was just another day of growth and moving forward with life. My hunt is over, way passed over to a point in our mindset. Our choices had been made, time to accept it all and stop crying. It was time to just start telling all the stories and places we have been. There is no reason to try to explain or prove what all we did. Really, people couldn’t make these stories up, and why would they want to. So yeah mom, this is a great outlet that I feel has helped and again may help others, so bonus, right?
Walking out of the trailer, my phone went off with a text message alert. Looking down, I saw the name of a friend of our family from long ago. Someone I have always respected in many ways and their family, too. The individual explained why they texted, for my mother. They wanted to know if I wanted to contact her. Mom (Melody) has Temporal Lobe Aphasia Expressed. I didn’t have to contact her, but if I wanted to, the number would be sent to me. The fact that I have known of this individual basically since I was born, I opened up easily with respect and care.
After a few brief texts, I realized they didn’t know my crazy thoughts or even what had all gone down in my younger life that led me to where I am now. I was quick to feel so many emotions that I felt so stupid and even like a clown to the point. It was like the time I thought I was a coach at the Special Olympics, but realized I was the athlete. I just looked different to a point, that’s it. I felt an instant form of pain and regret. I sent another text to explain my actions and how they were wrong. Yet, even in the wrong, the greatness of God has helped me find my way out of my head, through kind words, strong thoughts and open souls. We are growing. I was proud of myself, but I didn’t know if I could contact her after it all played out.
The reply back put my soul in a state of confusion yet complete joy. I sat there in my truck with my food. It was like a lifetime of tears began to flow out. I set my food on the dash and took a hit of my C.B.D. and let it flow out. I had to hide my emotions, so no one would see my tears or ask what’s up.
After they explained to me what’s been going on with them and their losses over the years, I felt pain to learn of the losses as I loved them too. One of them would throw me in a pool and always played with me. The other was always caring, and I will never forget hiding behind her door from her brothers as we were always playing around like boys. But they were pretty strong sometimes so I had to hide. Trust me, the scar or lump on the back of my head can prove that. LOL Great memories, for sure.
It was what was said at the end of the text, that again sent us into thoughts and places we had thought were gone. Or made us wonder if they really were real. Did those things really happen? Over the years, with these scars I have formed, I don’t think I healed them all correctly. I believe I used a lot of superglues when I may have needed a stitch or something else. There was no time to fix things the right way. We had to eat, feed and clothe our papooses as I was trying not to fall apart. With that being said, I allowed all the good things in my past life to be forgotten. It’s almost like I closed off the side that remembers when we would walk on the beach together, go have Sunday croissants with coffee and my strawberry milk. Or when you had your bakery and I would make cakes with you. How much fun we would have as I tried to eat everything. Or how we would race down the road to the end of the block on Oak Street to the park. Or nature walks in the Santa Monica Mountains or L.A. How we would go to the symphonies together. You always found a way to get me to USC and UCLA football or basketball games, let’s not leave out the Raiders or the 1984 Olympics. Or when I would cry for my father and ask why I had to be a bastard kid, you would hold me and cry with me. You would tell me how sorry you were that he left.
Mom, I’m so sorry I had to write my books. I’m so sorry I had to find my path. I’m sorry for all the pain I brought you, even if it felt right, or even if I thought you should feel it. I thought that you needed to know, but now because of my self pain you will never hear those words. As I did call where you are at, I was able to set up a meeting for tomorrow, sometime after work. When we talk Mom, guess what? My plan is to act like none of this ever happened. I understand the roles have flipped and if it wasn’t for love, I wouldn’t be able to speak to you. If it wasn’t for two souls that love you, I would have continued to feel just, all the way until your death. Even as I’ve grown, until Monday I thought I knew, yet God had other plans for us. Like I like to say, he had to have been smoking some good green. With that being said, I am glad he was. LOL
The pain I have felt trying not to love you is stupid. I have a gift given to an unworthy son who thought his mother was unworthy. Too bad, he hadn’t lived long enough to understand what unworthiness is. Mom, I’m excited about tomorrow. I took the day off because I couldn’t hold my thoughts together. So Mom, please forgive me as I’m so sorry! Hey mom, I forgive you! Plus, your grand baby looks alot like you in the face. Her name is Blair.
Looking up, the man with the hat just gave another tip. Which is great. However, it’s the text that has changed our fate. Let’s pray we do this right for her and my own soul. I guess I want to say good luck to everyone in their pain, but sometimes there is more to it. I wish I would have been able to see that before. That’s on us, or should I say, me!
May our Lord continue to heal your memories and your emotions, guide your life, give you his peace and keep you in his loving care. Cross, Prayers, Amen. That was the end of the text. Thank you again, I love you all too. I wanted to grow, I wanted to learn, well it’s time.
Thank you for your time. Blessed be, Alhamdulillah, and God Bless. Peace.
"Stay blessed, stay true to yourself, and always remember, you’re never alone on this incredible journey. Wishing you an abundance of peace, love, and an overflow of good vibes until our paths cross again. Thanks for being a part of this adventure with me. Until next time, Deuces!"