From Scarred Eyes to Open Hearts: A Week of Revelations 

But just like laying here on this bed, sitting here, chatting, and petting my wolf Husky, Mack, I love that dog and my Calico cat, Hazel. We’re just chilling, thinking. I mean, how are these not souls too? These are my homies. These are my guys. They're always with me. One I found outside my work; she was homeless. And the other one, well, I bought him on my birthday in January. It's been a great gift to our family.

So anyways, I got to say there's a lot of good things happening. I'm very thankful. And on this Independence Day for America, there are also a lot of good things going on in the world, things people are trying to, you know, stop some of the nonsense. I pray for everyone's souls every day. Every day I ask for everyone to have a smile, have a laugh, break some bread, get some food, and just have some sort of joy. Because that would be just cool, right? If everybody could do that.

But anyways, I was watching the fireworks the other night. It was really cool. We always have this little spot we go to, and we were sitting there relaxing and hanging out. Me, my wife,  one of my daughters, and a very close friend of ours, Nathan. He's something else, bro. 

I was watching the fireworks, and I could see the little hill in the cemetery where I spent a lot of my time and where all the things go on. And I was watching the fireworks blow up, explode above. It was just amazing to me because I could see, at least to me, all these beautiful ancestral souls watching the fireworks. Some were soldiers, some were from the 1800s, and some, unfortunately, maybe recent. But there are just some souls, and they're all there watching the fireworks.

It sounded unrealistic, but I'm pretty sure he probably could have pulled it off, to be honest with you. I had already been a Marine. I was a United States devil pup at Camp Pendleton. When I was 14, I went to the LA Police Department, and I trained and tried out and competed against 5,000 people, and I made it. I was the only 14-year-old to make it. I'm extremely proud of that. Yes, I know I'm not a real soldier, and I never was a real soldier, but I was a devil pup. 

So anyways, he told me that he wanted me to join the army, and I looked at him, and I think I said yes, to be honest with you, 'cause my aspirations in life were to be either a Marine or a psychologist like my father. He ran Camarillo Hospital before it closed in Valencia, CA. I just wanted to help people. And if I wasn't playing football in the NFL, I wanted to be a Marine. But as I said, my dad wanted me to be in the Army, which is an honor in itself.

That was the last time I saw my dad face to face. I left that night and left him there, and I walked home. I walked home thought the city to my mom. So I told my mom about it, and she told me it was a terrible idea, and we got in a big fight. Then, like two or three days later, for whatever reason, I believed her. And that's on me, not her. I'm gonna tell you that now. I've got plenty of time to think about this. That's on me. I made the choice.

I think that's kind of where it's going here, that I need to start realizing that there's a lot on me, whether I like it or not, whether my eyes are scarred, bruised, or whether my heart is destroyed. I do just cry to whim sometimes. The other day at work, man, it was nuts. I cried for five hours. I cried for the whole first half of the day. I don't even understand what the hell was going on. It was crazy. I mean, I came home and I looked at one of my puppies and said, Hey, listen, if you want to cry, cry. Because in my house, let me tell you, you don't cry for nothing. You better have a reason. I learned Friday that you can cry however you damn well want because I couldn't stop crying. I mean, I was crying in front of everybody. It was crazy. I even told one guy, "What, you got a problem? Go away, I'm working." It was weird. It is what it is.

But anyways, I was talking to Tracy and asked her, do you think after all these years and everything that's happened and all the choices, that somehow, someway, the universe brought me to this moment with this young man? To be able to tell the young man, "Bro, don't let anybody come in between your family. Don't let anybody change your thoughts. Don't let anybody corrupt you on your goals." Honestly, I don't know anybody that's doing that to him, but I truly believe that I felt I had to tell him. 

So I want to throw something down about my dad, something I found on the internet about him. So here we go, because it was Independence Day. And before I ever say this, well, I'm just going to say I want thank all the soldiers, I appreciate you. We don't have our freedom without you.